When hunting hairless Haggis one must always think ahead,
For Haggis can turn nasty and rip your kilt to shreds.
A bonnets no protection and your sporran won’t survive,
You can think yourself quite lucky if you get away alive.
So take with you a piper and a sturdy woollen sack,
Stalking Haggis takes some time so best to bring a snack.
When you spy one tell the piper to play a merry air,
For Haggis canna stand the pipes they freeze in sheer despair.
It’s now quite safe to bag them and so end a perfect day,
just pay the piper for his work and send him on his way.
When you get home it isn’t long before the Haggis wakes,
And screams and snarls in violent rage it’s anger makes you quake.
With care you take the sack outside and let the critter go,
Then run inside and watch it leave while safe behind the door.
The moral of this story’s clear now that the pennies dropped,
If you want Haggis for your tea best buy one from a shop!